Monday, March 11, 2013

One Step at a Time

In case you're wondering about how volunteer work is going for me, well... I'll admit that I've kind of gotten into a slump. It's gotten a bit better as I'm more motivated to do things of my own, and that motivation has overflown a bit into my volunteer work as well. But I'm honestly not doing the level of work that I'd like to. I don't feel like I'm contributing that much to my sister or LFP.

My strategy last time was to let the depression and guilt consume me and basically hermit myself away in my room, only coming out to eat and use the restroom, pretty much. This time, I know what I have to do to not fall into that same rut again. So far it's working, at least a little.

I'm hanging out with my family more often, even if I don't feel like it initially. Being around them does cheer me up and break me out of that "fog".

I'm doing some work every day, even if it's not as much as I'd like. As long as I get around to doing anything at all in that respect, that's what matters right now to me. Not giving in.

My niece's and nephew's birthdays are coming up soon, so I'm also preparing their birthday presents. Well, for my niece, anyway; my nephew's present is already taken care of.

I've also been playing some guitar, and I can tell that I've improved a little, which does help my self-esteem/mood.

I haven't been going out to see the babies in the baby home as often, which is another blow to my so-called volunteer work. When I do, though, I am always amazed and it warms my heart to see what Serena and Brent have worked so hard to build. The children are so loved and happy and well cared for... it's something that you really have to see to get the full effect of, I think. When I see that, when I hold a baby and know that they wouldn't get this kind of love or care were it not for people like Brent and Serena, it bolsters my resolve to help, to do something to contribute to LFP's mission.

Then I go home and fall back into my slump. Or so it seems.

For right now, I don't have the answer to what's going on with me. I don't have the knowledge of a miracle cure, and frankly I'm not sure if there is one. All I know at the moment is that continuing to move forward, putting one foot in front of the other step by step, is better than sitting there too paralyzed to move an inch.

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